Book Review: Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

First, a a few words from debut author Goldy Moldavsky:

Goldy M.

From Goldy’s Twitter account

New York is my hometown. It’s the place where I grew up, the place I love like a person. But the first time I set foot in New York, I didn’t know a word of English. My family immigrated to New York from Peru when I was five, leaving behind my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in Lima. I can’t imagine how hard it was for my parents to move to a new place, and obviously it was infinitely easier for a five year old to adapt, but still—the culture shock was no joke. I remember crying as a kindergartner because I could not understand anything that my teacher was saying. Luckily, there was a girl in my class who spoke Spanish and translated everything for me.

Eventually, I picked up the language quickly enough, and it was this new culture—and specifically pop culture—that taught me to speak English. When I showed up in Brooklyn, neighborhood kids were singing along to New Kids on the Block and everyone was quoting Steve Urkel. I soaked it up. I guess it’s only fitting that my debut novel, Kill the Boy Band, is infused with pop culture references. While my parents were out working hard, I was learning a new language watching episodes of Saved By the Bell and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air after school. Though, I would still watch telenovelas with my family after dinner. I was just as hooked on episodes of Full House as I was on the melodramatic struggles my favorite childhood actress Thalia had to face on Maria del Barrio.

As a Jewish Latina girl who has confounded Jewish people with my Latinaness and Latino people with my Jewishness, pop culture was my great equalizer. And now I have a book that will hopefully be a part of that pop culture, written in a language that I adopted. As corny as it may sound, for an immigrant like me, getting Kill the Boy Band published is my very own version of the American Dream.

Now, the review of Kill the Boy Band by Zoraida Córdova

DESCRIPTION FROM THE PUBLISHER: From debut author Goldy Moldavsky, the story of four superfan friends whose devotion to their favorite boy band has darkly comical and murderous results.

Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.

We didn’t mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he’s tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it’s Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn’t be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.

We didn’t mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn’t. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that’s what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.

How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell.

MY TWO CENTS: Fandom is a complicated culture. ~Goldy Moldavsky, Kill the Boy Band

I loved this book. It’s a refreshing feeling when you find a book that stands out the way Kill the Boy Band does. The book boasts it’s “The most shocking debut of the year,” and I think it might be right. This isn’t the YA novel we’re used to. It’s like a fangirl version of Scream Queens and Mean Girls. And it’s an unapologetic satire, which you need to keep in mind while reading it. It follows four fangirls who idolize a British mega pop band called The Ruperts. They are named so because each of the four boys is named Rupert. They end up kidnapping Rupert P, the least talented, “ugly” one. Every boy band has one. (Chris Kirkpatrick, anyone?) What was meant as an opportunity to get as close as possible to the Boys ends up with girls committing a felony. Things get out of hand. Like, way out of hand. Pause for suspension of disbelief, Weekend at Bernie’s style.


Zoraida reading Kill the Boy Band on a beach in the Dominican Republic

The girls are at various stages of fandom. There’s Isabel: The Tough One. She’s Dominican and curses in Spanish when she’s mad. She runs a fansite dedicated to The Ruperts, online harasses people who hate The Ruperts, and blackmails her way into being the #1 source for The Ruperts. She’s seen them so often that she’s really at the end of her fandom and more in it for the hits she gets on her website. There’s Erin. She’s like Emma Roberts in every role she plays. She’s the Beautiful, Mean One. Her role is “The Mastermind” of the layers to this scheme. Her story arc and twist are compelling and shocking. There’s Apple. “The Simple One” by a long shot. She doesn’t seem to have a good grasp on reality, and her whims are totally dictated by The Ruperts. She’s Chinese and was adopted by an elderly wealthy couple who gives her everything she wants. They have funded her obsession with The Ruperts, including concerts and Apple’s own Latin nanny (who is an honorary Rupert’s fangirl at this point). Without Apple, the girls wouldn’t be able to secure the super expensive hotel room they need to carry out their plans. Trigger warning: Apple is the target of fat shaming from the other girls. This is where the “friendship” between these girls unravels. They’re friends, but not. This trial is what forces them to remain a unit, even if the only thing they truly have in common is The Ruperts. Once that tie is broken, what do they have left when it comes to friendship?

Finally, there’s our unreliable narrator. She goes by many names, usually plucked from popular 80s movies. The final and most prominent identity is Sloane from Ferris Bueler’s Day Off. “Sloane” is the “Innocent One.” She’s the voice of reason and law in this slice into crime and murder. The best part of this novel is the use of the unreliable narrator. Do we trust Sloane? We shouldn’t, but she frames the story to make herself come out as the “Good One.” Even she tells the reader, breaking the fourth wall constantly, that she very well could make herself as the “Innocent” when she should be or could be the “Crazy” one. There’s a very real moment when Sloane wonders what is the truth in her web of lies. She is a writer of fanfic, after all. What if this is just one more of her elaborate stories she makes up?

Another wonderful aspect of the narrative is the use of modern dialect and internet slang. Gosh, saying that makes me feel a tad old, but it’s true. Sloane speaks the way the internet does. She offers a reflection on fandoms, the mad frenzy of loving someone you only know through music or film, the rush that comes with knowing the intimate details through gossip websites, Twitter, and stolen photos. (I did learn a new term: Citizen Pap. No that kind of pap. It’s Citizen Paparazzi. Duh.) Sloane slowly comes out of her fangirl craze and sees other fangirls through the eyes of their critics. The entire time I think, Why is it that when girls love something, it is easily dismissed? There’s a pivotal moment that summarizes my takeaway from this book. It’s when Sloane is speaking to an adult male:

“You girls…”

Are never taken seriously.

“…should find a nice hobby.”

But we should be taken seriously. We can be amazing. And dangerous.

Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky is a crazy, ultra modern ride into the world of fangirls everywhere. With ROTFL moments and girls who are as smart as they are mean, as cunning as they are unreliable, it is a must read.

*Bonus points for cleverly threading in boy band lyrics throughout the novel. #ItsTheHardestThingIllEverHaveToDo.



From Goldy’s Tumblr

Goldy Moldavsky writes YA fiction from her hometown of Brooklyn. She studied journalism in college, where she got to interview some cool celebrities for her school paper. After a bit she realized it’d be more fun making up stories about celebrities, so that’s what she does in her writing. Some of her influences include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the esteemed works of John Irving, and the Mexican telenovelas she grew up watching with her mother. Follow her on Twitter @GoldyWrites and visit her website.

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